I am heartbroken :( After 5 years of hard work, all I wanted was just to go away for a little while. You know, change the scenery a bit, go some place beautiful.

Everything was all set, my visa, my papers and my itineraries. I could have gone every year, but I chose to stay here and finish my course first. Education is the number one priority. A down side of studying in a university with a trimester schedule-longest break is one week. It will be over before you can feel it. 

In our family my mom, dad and my sister had gone coast to coast in the States and in Europe(except my sister). The farthest I had gone to was Singapore and Hongkong. I am just really frustrated because I really thought I was gonna go this summer. A minimum of 1 month should suffice for Los Angeles and New York, but my time is just not enough. Long story short, with everything going on, thesis, graduation, review school, board exams and getting my license, schedule’s been moved and I won’t be able to leave for the next 9 long months.

I know this might sound really shallow, but it’s not the most pleasant feeling when you wake up each morning and just plan to survive the day. Don’t get me wrong, I am not, in any way, displeased with my entire life. I do have a wonderful family and of course my loving friends- and I’ll always be grateful for that. But this place is not for me, this place is just not me.

And maybe, just maybe, i f I go away for a little bit, I’ll get to find myself again and go on a beautiful path. But, I have to wait. I know I’ve been blessed but I have been dreading every day. I feel like I don’t belong here. I need somewhere new. I need new people.

But through reflection and deep understanding, I was able to accept this fact. God has a way more beautiful plan. Heck, I’ll be in LA in November, so I’ll fulfill one of my dreams there trick-or-treating, and I’ll spend Christmas and New Year in New York- I’ll get to watch the ball drop in Times Square. And finally for my birthday, I’ll be sipping tea (even if I’m not a tea drinker, (poser, haha!) ) in a little cafe in Paris, ride a gondola in Venice, shop at London, see the extravagant palaces, museums and gardens. Ahhh, I can’t wait. Everything will go better than expected.

And for the mean time, I’ll just make the most out of this time that I have. I shall not mope around and stay sorry for myself. This is a blessing in disguise. Maybe the reason why all the doors are closed, so that you can open one that leads you to the perfect door. Heehee :”> Good things come to those who wait!

I am where I’m supposed to be.

*all the photos in this post are NOT mine.